Probably a bit of happiness comes through, It should, you know? You should feel happy. You might feel relieved. But beneath that there can be an odd kind of emptiness, a lack of a sense that you can't quite place where you are. Because you put so much effort into believing that being successful would somehow change something inside of you, only to realize that you're still the same person standing where you stood before. And it can be confusing. Especially when those around you don't seem to share the same views. Regarding you with pride, congratulating you, reminding you of all people that you should be proud of yourself.  And you are. You are grateful. You really do think it's great, but there is this nagging thought that you don't want to voice out loud.

Is this it?

It’s not like you didn’t consider your success to be important, you worked for it. Probably worked harder than anyone knows, sacrificing and working when you could have done other things. You told yourself that when you got there, it would be worth it. And now you're here, and now you're suddenly finding that this feels strangely mundane. Maybe because some people are much better at chasing an arrival than seeing the end of it. There's always the promise that another thing is waiting when you get there. You always had another goal ahead when you were chasing. The future promised something to focus on and focusing on that was almost a comfort, a way to avoid looking at yourself for too long. You can always tell yourself, I'll rest later. I'll enjoy it later. I'll feel proud later. I'll do this later. Later.

Later always comes and there is nothing more to hide behind. Sometimes success takes away the distraction ambition gave you.

Because ambition is so praised without really looking at what is underneath. We can look at the person that is constantly working and call them disciplined. We can look at the person that refuses to settle and call them driven. We can look at the one that is always wanting and assume they are hungry for success, but sometimes they are hungry for something else. Validation. Security. Control. Proof. Perhaps they felt too small for far too long and decided they needed success to make them feel important. Maybe they knew nothing was stable and thought money was the answer to feeling safe. Maybe they were constantly compared to other people and thought success was the answer to them feeling worthless. So they achieved it. And for a while, it probably helped. People did treat them differently. They got the respect they wanted. They got the life they (thought) they wanted, Yet the funny thing about proving yourself? You never had a point in your mind that told you, well okay, you've proved enough.

You thought you wanted the promotion. Then you wanted the one above it. You thought you wanted a certain amount of money, then you wanted something more to feel secure. You thought you wanted recognition, then you realized that being recognized wasn't enough. You kept pushing the finishing line so you wouldn’t have to pause and just, realize what your life had become.

(A monopoly, in my opinion.)

It’s a mix and match. Some who run and run, hoping to extend the finish line just further ahead constantly; and some who run to the end, only to find barren land and no clue what to do with themselves. We were expecting an external achievement to solve an internal problem, but achievements were rarely very good at solving internal problems. They can change your circumstances, they can offer you opportunities and make your life easier, but they don’t always bring you the joy and love you crave. And the moment you start to realize that, or even a fraction of the genuine concept, you wonder what would happen if you succeeded in doing all that you desired, but still hated yourself on the other side?

At some point, one can’t help but wonder if they really want to continue this way, or if they're simply unable to stop. Stopping is not easy, I understand. Ambition becomes part of someone, and I’d call you crazy for wanting to convince a person like to take a breather. They think it makes rest lazy, and enjoyment useless. One can take pleasure in the things they have, but can still have more. We don’t see it like that, or merely refuse to. Hoping for it to go away. 

I want to say that, maybe success isn't supposed to make you feel complete, but more like a chance to finally ask yourself what you want now that you don't spend every waking moment trying to prove that you can.